What kind of ＂emotional value＂ do we yearn for in the fast food era？

Chao News Client Reporter Pan Lu Jia Xiaowen

Fifth, we focus on "emotional value".

On December 4th, the editorial department of Chewing on Words released "Top Ten Catchwords in 2023", in which emotional value was also included. I searched the WeChat chat records and found that there were nearly dozens of chats between me and my friends that mentioned emotional value, including "I feel that every time I call my mother, I am criticized and I can’t get any emotional value"; "I feel so happy after talking today, and you have provided me with a lot of emotional value" and so on.

We are used to using this term to describe our feelings. Sometimes, we are the providers of emotional value, and sometimes, we become the winners of emotional value, and get positive energy from friends, family, idols, live broadcast rooms or some specific actions.

Emotional value has been mentioned more and more, becoming a measure of friendship and love, or becoming a key word for product marketing and shaping personal charm. What is emotional value? Why do we all need emotional value? While we are eager for high-quality intimacy, it seems that it is difficult for us to establish a stable intimacy. What is the reason behind it? This is also the question we want to answer.

This year, the topic of emotional value can always trigger a hot discussion on social platforms.

What is the emotional value?

When we trace the source of emotional value, we will find that it is actually a term in the fields of economics and marketing. Jeffrey, a professor at university of idaho Business School in the United States, defines it as the difference between emotional benefits and emotional costs perceived by customers. Among them, emotional gain is the positive emotional experience of customers, and emotional cost is the negative emotional experience.

Today, emotional value is generalized and understood as an ability to bring comfort, pleasure and stability to others. The source of this ability is not only peers, but also pets, film and television works.

I tried to ask a friend about the moment when she clearly felt "emotional value", and she replied, "When you told me that if I was unhappy, I could come to you". She said that this conveyed to her a feeling that all the difficulties now are trivial, and she can come to me to avoid it, "just like wanting to go home in a bad mood." Miraculously, her answer also brought the reporter the emotional value that he was affirmed and needed.

Simple psychology once launched a collection called "What behaviors of a person will make you feel very emotional". The answer includes listening, responding to everything, and others saying things that you can’t see, have the ability or courage to say. Behind the emotional value that is specifically explained is actually our desire to be seen, accepted, responded to and properly placed in the relationship.

The vote initiated at the Southern Weekend "Is emotional value just needed in emotion?" Nearly two-thirds of the readers chose "Yes, emotions need to be soothed". Yu Min, a national second-class psychological counselor and emotional restorer, believes from a psychological point of view that emotional value is a kind of behavior performance that makes others feel comfortable by empathizing with others and giving timely feedback when a person is particularly vulnerable or happy, thus increasing the importance in others’ minds.

What are the emotional values that need to be paid attention to in love? Is emotional value a kind of emotional labor? People are keen to discuss people around them who can bring emotional value on social platforms, and think about whether an intimate relationship that can’t bring emotional value to themselves should continue. Emotional value is increasingly becoming a measure of friendship and love.

Why is emotional value popular?

Shao Jiening, a psychological counselor at Hehuan Psychological Counseling Service Center, obviously feels that young people who have done divorce counseling in recent years are obviously different from those born after 70 s and 80 s. Material contradictions and domestic violence are the main reasons for people over 45 to file for divorce, while young couples after 90 mainly have emotional problems.

"In the past, people needed external evaluation of themselves, and they tended to suppress patience and their emotions were not exposed. Nowadays, young people will think why I should wronged myself. If my partner can’t provide the emotional value I want, I should separate. "

She believes that the popularity of emotional value is a kind of rebound. In the social environment where the pressure in all aspects is gradually increasing and the busy urban life is constantly compressing the social space, people’s need for self-expression and being listened to is amplified. From this point of view, the word "emotional value" is not surprising. It is like a mirror, reflecting the changes of social culture and the bias of collective emotions. "I am unhappy and uncomfortable, and whether I can express it independently is the most important thing." The proportion of personal experience and self-esteem in communication is increasing.

On social platforms, young people are willing to pay for their favorite lifestyles and items that can gain emotional value. "If you don’t buy it, you scratch your ears, and if you buy it, you will be happy," a netizen described it in the comment area. The relationship represented by emotional value extends to people and things. For example, when I come home from work at night and open the door, I see my pet standing at the door to meet me. In an instant, the fatigue of the whole day seems to disappear.

Yu Min understands young people’s choice between material value and emotional value. She believes that increasing emotional value is far more important than material contribution. "Keep your independence and let the other person feel that although you have each other, you are independent individuals, and you can communicate with each other deeply without feeling pressure. This is the meaning of emotional value."

Graphic has nothing to do with the source of vision china

How to face up to emotional value?

With the emotional value being mentioned more and more, this year, courses related to "emotional value" have also become popular. The "emotional masters" on the Internet teach students "how to provide emotional value" by paying for knowledge, and establish a positive personal design with words. It seems that as long as they learn such emotional cheats, they will be invincible in the workplace and communication.

In addition, selling emotions has become a business. Paid emotional tree holes and chatting services have become popular emotional products. Just spend a few dollars, you can release your emotions to strangers through the network cable and get a few minutes of stylized comfort and affirmation from the other party. Major consumer goods and live broadcast rooms also pay close attention to people’s emotional value and create corresponding services and personnel. On December 25th, 2023, the list of Taobao’s top ten commodities was officially announced. "Einstein’s brain (chatting service)", ebony sauce and customized concert lights were selected, and the tide of emotional consumption was being brought into the main trend of society by this young people.

Taobao "Einstein’s brain" product page

The emotional value also seems to indicate that while longing for high-quality intimate relationships, people are also worried about falling into self-friction because the other party can’t give corresponding feedback. Because of the material nature of value itself, some people began to resist the idea of emotional value, thinking that it quantifies the subjective feelings in a relationship.

How should we face up to the emotional value? Shao Jiening suggested that everyone should build a two-way emotional interaction around him. "Many times, cognitive inequality is a problem when people come to consult." She told Chao journalists that when people are in a normal social state, they need both emotional value and emotional value to their friends around them. "Whether it is parent-child relationship or husband-wife relationship, different people have different sensitivities and different perceptions and understandings of emotions. In the final analysis, it is still a question of empathy. " She often advises the consultant to change the way of expression in communication and understand her partner from another angle after communicating with both parties, instead of consuming each other in guessing and guessing.

As Shao Jiening said, expression and response can form a complete self. Expression is not disciplined emotional labor, and response is not unilateral giving within the framework of personal cognition. While talking about emotional value, we are actually looking forward to a sincere and equal relationship and a comfortable, stable and fortunate life in this fast food era.

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